bonafide

it has crept in to my attention that i am becoming a *bonafide* pessimist. little hints, like thoughts of 'i hate everything' and 'people are the worst' scroll through my head, usually in the morning. these indicate the potentiality of a larger problem, brewing.
since i am generally known as a person who smiles noticeably more than the status quo, it seems to me that this is a more recent development.

things that may be contributing to my less sunny disposition:

cold weather
lack of sleep
homework
work
the disintegration of human moral
increase of stupid people in my immediate surroundings
loud noises when not necessary
a general distaste of the moronic goings on around me
too many people in general
finding my jar of peanut butter nearly empty early in the morning as i go to use it for breakfast...

things that may help me through the hate loop:

good music via good room mates (m83)
robin still loves me despite this 'hate everything' attitude
bonus points for putting up with the early morning version of above mentioned
writing things that don't make sense
going home for the holidays
the salvation army
spring

things reached a peak this morning on the shuttle bus as the driver raged around corners and repeatedly slammed the brakes, despite the overload of students on board. between the redundant, annoying conversations i had to overhear and the constant pitching and falling of the vehicle, things were not going well. i surmised that the general population of students and people in my appropriated surroundings are fucking retarded. excuse the socio-politically incorrect use of mental disability to illustrate a point. i don't care.

in general, the amount of times during any given day that i have the urge to tell someone to 'go fuck themselves' has increased exponentially since this time last year. i wonder, have i gotten angrier, or everyone else more idiotic--and me, by default, smarter. i prefer the latter and that is what i am going to go with. if you disagree, it's only because you aren't intelligent enough to comprehend my rationalizations.